Posted by Grant
Just when Michelle and I thought we were getting the hang of this, things started getting difficult around day 8. After church on Sunday, we drove to Republic Coffee with our lunchboxes. Eat some homemade food with a delicious hot tea from a local business? Yes please! In my mind, I had it all figured out. It was a beautiful spring day, we had plenty of time to kill. We'll just stroll right in, get us a table, chat about the sermon, sip some tea. Michelle will drop me off, we'll kiss goodbye, and that will be that. It was my Friday after all. Why shouldn't things go exactly like this? Unbeknownst to me, this would not go as I had planned.
Michelle and I got out of our car and walked in. I had both lunchboxes and water bottles. We walked inside and were greeted by a friendly-looking gentleman in his early 40's. He took us to our table. As he was placing the menus on it, I smiled and politely informed him of our intentions.
Me: "Thank you. But we don't need those. We brought our lunch."
Server: "We don't allow outside food."
Me: (laughing) "I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, we're not occupying your table as nonpaying customers. We're ordering tea. We just won't be ordering any food, because we brought our own."
Server: "We don't allow outside food."
Without warning, I felt a tidal wave of anger come over me. In less than a second I had gone from happy to enraged. I began to have malicious thoughts about this man, whom I had never met. I began to have thoughts about what four letter word I shout at him him next. Thankfully, I kept my mouth shut. But that wasn't the worst of it. Michelle apologized to him for me as I gathered up our belongings and we left. As we were getting into our car, I noticed the worried expression on her face.
Me: What?!
Michelle: Don't you ask me "what!" You know exactly what you did.
Me: I didn't do anything!
Michelle: You were staring at him like you wanted him to go to Hell!
When your wife says something to you like this, take heed. We drove over to the Central Library parking lot and ate our meal in a silence as thick as an autumn morning fog. My wife will tell you that I can only pretend that everything is ok for so long. Eventually I crack and the matter must be settled. Such was the case in this instance. I drove back to Republic Coffee, got out and located the server. I offered my hand and apologized to him. He took it, and he smiled at me. He said he hadn't meant to be rude, but that was just their policy. I said no, it was me that had been rude. Because that's how it was. Like a child, I hadn't gotten what I wanted, and I felt justified making my anger known.
This incident taught me a fact about myself that I've known for quite some time, but still don't like to admit. I do not like being inconvenienced. In fact, I hate it. Even at 27, I still want things my way. And I want them now. Not tomorrow. Not 5 minutes from now. Right now. 5 minutes ago. I don't do well with lines, waiting rooms, or stop and go traffic. I want to get in, do what I need to do, and get out. Remember that Burger King slogan from the 90's? "Your way right away." Granted, I'm not as bad at this as I used to be, but it is still very evident in my life and my attitudes about people. I am impatient and I want convenience. Because I have things to do, places to go, people to meet. I'm in a hurry. Because I am important and have important things to do.
My wife recently communicated some real wisdom to me about living like this. Ezekiel the prophet saw men, "with their backs to the temple of the Lord, and their faces toward the east, worshiping the sun..." (Ezekiel 8:16, ESV) As postmodern man understands it, a 24 hour day is based on the earth's rotation around the sun. I constantly check my watch, I am obsessed with "saving time,"I don't like being inconvenienced, and have no patience. Essentially this amounts to worshiping the sun, which is idolatry. Most of us think of worship as some sort of organized event, where everyone wears similar attire and bodily prostrates themselves before some stone idol. But not all idols are made of stone. Some are made of flesh, some are made of dreams. In this case, it is a star. Rushing and racing through life never really saved me any time. It only made me more frantic and stressed out. When I did "save time," it was probably 15 minutes. The sun god is not a kind one. This fast has shown me a very important lesson thus far. I am an idolater and I need to repent.
Republic Coffee (http://www.republiccoffeememphis.com), 2924 Walnut Grove Memphis, TN 38111
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